Hi, my name is Shannon Grade: 7 Best Holiday: Christmas Birth Month: May Career Goals: Fashion Designer Favorite color: Pink Favorite Food: Italian Favorite Munchies: French Fries Favorite soft drink: Coke Favorite Subject: Art Pets: Dog named Murphy Siblings: Brother Named Dylan
ALIENS
Hello, my name is Chelsea. Chelsea Smith, I am thirteen years old. You can say that I am not really your average girl. When I was five I lived in the Amazon with a group of people. There were about one hundred of us. We lived in tree houses in the trees of the Amazon. It was a lot of fun. The next year when I turned six I moved again. This time I moved to New York City. The city was a lot different than the Amazon. In the Amazon there were a lot of different kinds of wildlife. In the city there were a lot of different hot dogs. But New York City was really cool. All of the neon signs and bright lights, the shopping, the people, everything was so different. It was better and worse in some ways. When I was in fifth grade something amazing happened.
So, the president received a note from aliens before I was born. The note stated that they would be to earth in a couple of years. The note also stated that they wanted the best storytellers from around the world. I heard about the note when I turned eight. So the aliens had arrived. I was one of the storytellers. I was ready though. I was actually excited. They came out of their space ship holding their guns. But there was one thing that we were all amazed about. The only thing that we could all say was “WOW!”
So, you might be wondering what we were all amazed about. We all expected the aliens to be these really green, ugly, blobs of mush. But, they got off of the ship and they were the exact opposite. It looked like a Miss America pageant broke down on Earth. But, there was another thing that was a weird about them. There were only female aliens. I have no idea why. They all wore long ball gowns and heels. They had never heard of blue jeans or sweats.
They promised not to shoot. They did this because they realized that Earth was nothing what they expected, but if they killed us all, then that would have no one to compare themselves to. And even if they did shoot, their guns were filled with confetti, which would do absolutely nothing to us. Their guns were filled with confetti because confetti kills aliens, but we all dicided not to tell them that it doesn’t kill humans. They were pretty nice otherwise.
So, they stayed on Earth over night. But in the morning they were still not impressed. So they left, and never came back.You might be wondering why they forgot about the storytellers. The truth is that no one knows. But, the storytellers all got to go to the white house for lunch and tell their stories to the president
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? the plot is original and the only thing I have to help the author is to add more suspence
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? the problems are not interesting enough you could add in more suspence by talking about the aliens more
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? the characters are life like but you do not explain them enough
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? as I said earlier you need to explain the charecters more and you need to add in more suspence
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? as I said earlier you need to explain the charecters more and you need to add in more suspence
Grade: 7
Best Holiday: Christmas
Birth Month: May
Career Goals: Fashion Designer
Favorite color: Pink
Favorite Food: Italian
Favorite Munchies: French Fries
Favorite soft drink: Coke
Favorite Subject: Art
Pets: Dog named Murphy
Siblings: Brother Named Dylan
ALIENS
Hello, my name is Chelsea. Chelsea Smith, I am thirteen years old. You can say that I am not really your average girl. When I was five I lived in the Amazon with a group of people. There were about one hundred of us. We lived in tree houses in the trees of the Amazon. It was a lot of fun. The next year when I turned six I moved again. This time I moved to New York City. The city was a lot different than the Amazon. In the Amazon there were a lot of different kinds of wildlife. In the city there were a lot of different hot dogs. But New York City was really cool. All of the neon signs and bright lights, the shopping, the people, everything was so different. It was better and worse in some ways. When I was in fifth grade something amazing happened.So, the president received a note from aliens before I was born. The note stated that they would be to earth in a couple of years. The note also stated that they wanted the best storytellers from around the world. I heard about the note when I turned eight. So the aliens had arrived. I was one of the storytellers. I was ready though. I was actually excited. They came out of their space ship holding their guns. But there was one thing that we were all amazed about. The only thing that we could all say was “WOW!”
So, you might be wondering what we were all amazed about. We all expected the aliens to be these really green, ugly, blobs of mush. But, they got off of the ship and they were the exact opposite. It looked like a Miss America pageant broke down on Earth. But, there was another thing that was a weird about them. There were only female aliens. I have no idea why. They all wore long ball gowns and heels. They had never heard of blue jeans or sweats.
They promised not to shoot. They did this because they realized that Earth was nothing what they expected, but if they killed us all, then that would have no one to compare themselves to. And even if they did shoot, their guns were filled with confetti, which would do absolutely nothing to us. Their guns were filled with confetti because confetti kills aliens, but we all dicided not to tell them that it doesn’t kill humans. They were pretty nice otherwise.
So, they stayed on Earth over night. But in the morning they were still not impressed. So they left, and never came back.You might be wondering why they forgot about the storytellers. The truth is that no one knows. But, the storytellers all got to go to the white house for lunch and tell their stories to the president
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
the plot is original and the only thing I have to help the author is to add more suspence
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
the problems are not interesting enough you could add in more suspence by talking about the aliens more
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
the characters are life like but you do not explain them enough
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
as I said earlier you need to explain the charecters more and you need to add in more suspence
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
as I said earlier you need to explain the charecters more and you need to add in more suspence